Developing & Celebrating The Ultimate Version Of You

The Coffee Trap: Part 2

It was 1988 and there I was; 16 years old, in a distant country, making money, taking care of the recreation center, mixing with my first true foreigners, and drinking this utterly disgusting roasted concoction of lord knows what, out of Styrofoam cups, laced with, in the very least, 4 spoonfuls of white sugar, and feeling more and more like an adult with each gawd-awful swallow. I was living FAT CITY!

 

SHAPE

 

It always occurred to me just why the grown-ups would drink this stuff. I mean… c’mon… its truly and unabashedly terrible in every sense. And really, how can they continue with the stained teeth and sh*t coffee breath? Sure there is some kind of trick to this, the kind where one day you wake up and BOOM! POW! you are now consuming this wretched liquid and the trick is you made the transition seamlessly and are forever hooked. Yeah… some trick indeed because you are now in need.

 

When duties were fulfilled and the seat on the left claimed as mine, the pots of the wretchedness would flow in one direction as I sat neatly and proudly behind the entrance desk. The coffee tin was constantly opened and spoonfuls of grounds placed in the filter and you know the rest. And yet it was so hot outside. This only added to my confusion as usually when the weather is warm, one drinks cool drinks and when cold outside, the same one drinks warm or hot liquids.

 

Perplexed I was and it was full time.

 

And I won’t talk about the constant urination due to the dehydrating effects of buzz drug called caffeine. I mean… between the making of and prepping of and the drinking of and the elimination of and its travel time to the place of the elimination of… how the hell does any work get done???

 

Answer: CAFFEINE!

 

It makes you work harder and longer thus, offsetting the above “of” or lost time cycle that is perpetual. So this begs the question of;

 

“Why not not drink coffee and do your work crutch-free, and get something done, instead of using the caffeine delivery system called coffee, to increase your “energy” making you more productive, in order to make up for lost time engaging in the ritual of coffee consumption, and in the non-process of coffee, save money instead of participating in the madness and pissing it all down the tube, and, negatively affecting your health (teeth, kidneys, bladder, nervous system, adrenal glands, etc…).”

 

But wait… let me interrupt myself to talk about the Greek Goddess.

 

End of Part 2

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